What is it that makes someone so different from you—almost always on the other side of an issue, comforting you in ways that feel anything but comforting, or to whom you attribute moving too fast for your desired pace?

You can look to the Chinese Five Elements for an answer. Each element is an expression of a way of being in the world, and when out of balance can become a problem.
Too much charisma, associated with Fire, can get you in deep trouble with your spouse. The persistence and precision of Water and Metal can be very annoying to even the most accommodating (Earth). Too many water elements in the environment and you might hear someone saying, “I’m drowning!”
Once you know how the elements interact, you can learn to manage them both personally and in the spaces you inhabit. We are always watching and listening carefully for the play of the elements.